


Walking On Needles

by AnnaBananaSplit



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: F/M, M/M, Other, Second Person, Unrequited Love, cipher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 11:00:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10852599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaBananaSplit/pseuds/AnnaBananaSplit
Summary: You had fallen in love with Illumi the minute you laid eyes on him, but could he ever love you back?Protag is a cipher so gender is irrelevant.





	Walking On Needles

It was at the hunter exam when you first saw those blank eyes of his. Those beautiful, terrifying black holes that seemed to suck you in immediately. _Illumi_ the name rolled off of your tongue and all through your thoughts all day, every day. It was a sickness. The first time you met you had waited behind a pillar until he left the company of one particular creepy clown.

"Hey you." The first words you had said to him, and immediately regretted how silly it sounded. 

When he didn't turn around you could feel the nervous sweat bead up on the back of your neck and your cheeks grow unbearably hot. Illumi's steps slowed to a stop and you could feel a fire burn in your chest from the breath you were holding. The air stood still for a moment before he spoke:

"Yes?"

"Hey."

"You said that already." He sighed,"can I help you with something?"

"Well-It's-Just-I-Um-I-Really-Like-Your-Face-And-I-Wanted-To-To--"

He walked away from you, but you followed like a baby duckling. You wanted to see him smile, but you could tell between the previous conversation he had with those kids and how he treated his own brother that it wasn't likely. Still, you were already drawn to him, and you already knew that it would be your undoing. You should've let him walk away back then. You should have let him walk away any day since. 

"Why are you following me?" The tone of his voice was flat but you could tell he was about to reach for more of his needles.

"I know what you said before, about friends and stuff, but I wanted to know why you thought that." You had caught up to him and stood firmly before him: never breaking eye contact for a second. He seemed to quirk an eyebrow ever so slightly.

"Are you stupid?" He tried to walk past you but you stood in his way again. 

"Maybe."

"It's a simple fact. It's not my problem that you don't understand." 

Your mouth was dry but you swallowed anyway. You knew you weren't getting another chance to block him off, and finding him again could be just as hard.

"It's just that, I'm only strong when I'm protecting someone I care about, so not having friends or anything would make me substantially weaker." The fire in your lungs had long since moved to your gut.

Maybe he saw that fire. Maybe he didn't. Whatever his reason he let you continue to follow him after that. You knew he could get away at any minute but he never did. Obviously, you couldn't follow him everywhere. You were only a hunter after all -- you were not made to be an assassin. Something he never failed to mock you for, mainly for how little of his world you understood. 

You'd later go off on your own all over the world, you had become a hunter to discover new beasts after all, but still managed to find each other from time to time due to his numerous missions. He would never reply to your emails but you doubted your encounters were entirely by coincidence.

At some point, you had stopped wanting to only be his friend (even if the friendship was one-sided). Though, if you thought about it, did you ever really? Maybe you were being selfish. Maybe you just wanted him to feel the same way you did. It felt like the more you knew him the more he pulled you in. Behind those eyes was so much more than the nothing he wanted everyone to believe there was. You just knew it. Especially when it came to his family. 

Which is why you were currently at the front gate. You had been training for weeks after Illumi had finally responded to a text from you. He actually told you to come over and you wanted to both look and feel worthy of him. You didn't see it coming. You had been spending less and less time together lately: mainly due to his work and your fervent efforts to avoid Hisoka. That guy scared the shit out of you, but you couldn't run away anymore if you wanted to be with Illumi, in any capacity, and being around him on his way to missions wasn't enough for you. 

The security guard had been staring at you for a few minutes now. You were, after all, a strange person who arrived on the back of a winged saber-lion... and also you had been standing there staring at your phone for some time now as if you were only loitering in front of a bus station. 

"Uh, you lost, Miss?" He questioned from his station.

"That bastard isn't texting me back!" You yelled, more to yourself than anything. After Illumi told you to come to his family's home he had given you only one instruction: _Open the doors yourself or don't bother coming._ Who says that to someone they INVITE over? Needless to say, you were pissed, but you'd known what you had to do.

The old security guard coughed, reminding you that he was still there.

"Oh hey, old man, do you know what this means?"" You strolled over to him, flashing the text in his direction.

"Who sent you this?" His tone seemed to drop, and you could tell in that instant that he didn't trust you. Could you blame him? Ku, your lion, sensed the hostility in the air and let out a low growl. You let out a forced laugh in order to calm it, but the situation felt more awkward than before.

"I'm a friend of Illumi." You let out. The poor man's eyes looked like they were about to bulge from his head, and for a second you feared he might have a heart attack or a stroke.

The man stuttered for a minute before explaining that Illumi had probably been referring to the test doors and their weight, but somewhere along the conversation he'd lost you. You were already too busy day dreaming about how great it'd look if you could open all of the doors. The image of an emotion-struck Illumi played in your head: a situation too far from reality in which he called you things like "darling" and was actually happy to see you.

"Ok, I got it." You stretched, cracking your knuckles for good measure. "Thanks, old man." 

"Wait-" he seemed worried, but you were already seeing in tunnel vision. " I haven't told you about Mike yet!" The man seemed less worried and more stressed out.

It was too late. You had shoved on the doors with that fire Illumi had ignited in you all that time ago. Though, the result was far less impressive than in your head. With all your might you'd barely gotten the first two doors open before they swung back and hit you in the face. Luckily, or rather unluckily, your face did in fact catch them before they closed all the way but the status of whether or not your nose was now broken was in question. You took a door in either hand and pried it open all the way once more before looking back at Ku and the guard. Ku was far too big to go through the gate.

"Hey, old man, is it cool if I leave Ku here with you?" You smiled.

"Ku?" He questioned before looking to the winged beast who had long since curled up in a ball of disinterest in the middle of the road.

"Doesn't look like he's budging any time soon!" You laughed and went in anyway. 

You only made it about a twenty yards into the vast estate before you were greeted by a massive wolf-like beast that would greatly tower over Ku any day of the week. It's eyes pierced your own as you froze where you stood.

"(y/n), you're late." Illumi's voice came from behind you. "Are you scared?" 

You turned to him with stars in your eyes.

"I think I'm in love!" You exclaimed. Illumi's eyebrows visibly rose as you dashed toward the beast. "Is this the Mike I should've been warned about? You're gorgeous! Look at you! Look at those eyes!" You babbled on like any good beast hunter would. You wanted to shove your face into Mike's face but judging by the nature of the family and it's dog-like appearance you figured that might not be the wisest decision. Still, you gushed and circled it as it watched you, never letting you get behind it. Once you looped about twice you finally noticed Illumi leaning against a tree behind Mike, and you thought, for a split second, that his gaze on you softened. Then, you let the reins on your heart let go for a moment, and you though that maybe, just maybe, seeing Illumi smile one day wasn't such an impossible dream after all. In fact, you would give your life for that moment.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Please kudos or comment if you enjoyed! Not sure if I want to do more with this but it was a fun little drabble so I might. Forgive me if anyone is out of character. I'm only on episode 25 but I'm utterly in love with this guy. My goodness. Also, Hisoka, hot damn.
> 
> Also, before you comment about it, yes I know my grammar is bad. I also have no intentions of polishing fanfiction haha. Sorry? I am a qualified editor though so if it really bothers anyone that badly I might do something about it.


End file.
